You mightn't think it to look at my banner (haha) but I hate having my photo taken.
I know - it is not many that do - well maybe those who are blessed with perfectos genes don't mind it.
I wouldn't either, if that were the case.
You see we are working on my upcoming website... Sharnanigans (exciting!!!) .... and Olena, my designer, needs a pic!
Well roll me over and call me Rhonda - it has been a saga!
I sent her some from recent times but none of them made the cut.
I want my website to look professional - to show me in a natural light.
ie - not with a forced smile, silly pout or sideways glances.
I have to be still, not halfway through a dramatic statement or making any grand gesticulations.
This is hard for me because I do a lot of this, particularly when I become nervous when I know someone is trying to take a photo.
I think the best photos are taken when I am drunk
(which sadly, I haven't been for a long time)
because you lose the braincells responsible for overthinking your poses and you get something more natural, albeit with slightly bloodshot eyes.
So last night I asked Cowboy if he would do a photoshoot for me.
I whipped on a couple of different outfits and stood in front of a white wall awaiting direction.
It didnt come.
Cowboy said - "Well smile"
"I can't just smile on cue" I snapped
He held the camera up at me and I had nothing.
"You have to direct me" I directed
"I don't know how to direct you" he said "I'm not a photographer!"
"Well I'm not a photographer either, but I would know how to direct you" I said
("I bet you would" he probably thought)
" You have to make me laugh, smile - try different poses"
" I'm trying" he said
"No you are not!" I barked
"Well sorry I have been painting our house all day"
Oh...
I don't really think we were going to elicit a natural, 'me in my happy glory photo' in these circumstances now were we?
So we decide to hit the bottle.
We get out a bottle of Sav Blanc and I suggest we just sit and have a few drinks and if he sees me laughing or coming to life then for the love of God , snap me!
Oh the pressure I put on Cowboy.
Of course -we sit down to do this and things start rolling, we are talking and then laughter prevails!!
Cowboy happily reaches for his glass to pour another drink.
"What are you doing pouring a drink?" I exclaimed
" I was laughing!! You missed it!"
Biting his tounge Cowboy rolled his eyes and guzzled a badly needed gulp.
He decided then to sit there with the camera pointed on me waiting for the laughter.
"Well I'm not going to start laughing now" I snarled
Ok, you get the idea - the poor Cowboy wasn't going to win.
He got a few snaps - but then I had issues with them including orange tinge in hair (hence the sepia coloured photos)
The stress of it all and the silliness of it all did lead to a funny night (of sorts)
The results? Pictured - still have not made the cut. arrrrrrgh...
Olena has sent me some examples of different poses that work well so I am going to limber up and try and call on my inner model....
We are going to have another crack it tonight (Cowboy doesn't know this yet...)
I have stocked up the fridge in anticipation.
Oh and laugh it up.
That one of me straddled over the red chair is SO not my style plus I have never worn a white collared shirt in my life!!!!
So does anyone have any suggestions for me, oh afraid of the camera?
How the hell am I going to get the shot?
How should I pose?
How should Cowboy direct it?
Or should I just not worry about a photo???
Or should we just run with these gesticulating non smiling funny looking ones? Probably a truer indication of what I'm like!!!
(So many ors I could just row away!)
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