Don't suppose you know how to pose?

You mightn't think it to look at my banner (haha) but I hate having my photo taken.

I know - it is not many that do - well maybe those who are blessed with perfectos genes don't mind it.

I wouldn't either, if that were the case.

You see we are working on my upcoming website... Sharnanigans (exciting!!!) .... and Olena, my designer, needs a pic!

Well roll me over and call me Rhonda - it has been a saga!

I sent her some from recent times but none of them made the cut.

I want my website to look professional - to show me in a natural light.

ie - not with a forced smile, silly pout or sideways glances.

I have to be still, not halfway through a dramatic statement or making any grand gesticulations.

This is hard for me because I do a lot of this, particularly when I become nervous when I know someone is trying to take a photo.

I think the best photos are taken when I am drunk

(which sadly, I haven't been for a long time)

because you lose the braincells responsible for overthinking your poses and you get something more natural, albeit with slightly bloodshot eyes.

So last night I asked Cowboy if he would do a photoshoot for me.

I whipped on a couple of different outfits and stood in front of a white wall awaiting direction.

It didnt come.

Cowboy said - "Well smile"

"I can't just smile on cue" I snapped

He held the camera up at me and I had nothing.

"You have to direct me" I directed

"I don't know how to direct you" he said "I'm not a photographer!"

"Well I'm not a photographer either, but I would know how to direct you" I said

("I bet you would" he probably thought)

" You have to make me laugh, smile - try different poses"

" I'm trying" he said

"No you are not!" I barked

"Well sorry I have been painting our house all day"

Oh...

I don't really think we were going to elicit a natural, 'me in my happy glory photo' in these circumstances now were we?

So we decide to hit the bottle.

We get out a bottle of Sav Blanc and I suggest we just sit and have a few drinks and if he sees me laughing or coming to life then for the love of God , snap me!

Oh the pressure I put on Cowboy.

Of course -we sit down to do this and things start rolling, we are talking and then laughter prevails!!

Cowboy happily reaches for his glass to pour another drink.

"What are you doing pouring a drink?" I exclaimed

" I was laughing!! You missed it!"

Biting his tounge Cowboy rolled his eyes and guzzled a badly needed gulp.

He decided then to sit there with the camera pointed on me waiting for the laughter.

"Well I'm not going to start laughing now" I snarled

Ok, you get the idea - the poor Cowboy wasn't going to win.

He got a few snaps - but then I had issues with them including orange tinge in hair (hence the sepia coloured photos)

The stress of it all and the silliness of it all did lead to a funny night (of sorts)

The results? Pictured - still have not made the cut. arrrrrrgh...

Olena has sent me some examples of different poses that work well so I am going to limber up and try and call on my inner model....

We are going to have another crack it tonight (Cowboy doesn't know this yet...)

I have stocked up the fridge in anticipation.

Oh and laugh it up.

That one of me straddled over the red chair is SO not my style plus I have never worn a white collared shirt in my life!!!!

So does anyone have any suggestions for me, oh afraid of the camera?

How the hell am I going to get the shot?

How should I pose?

How should Cowboy direct it?

Or should I just not worry about a photo???

Or should we just run with these gesticulating non smiling funny looking ones? Probably a truer indication of what I'm like!!!

(So many ors I could just row away!)

Blog This Challenge : My Unique Talent

Wow this is my 200th post!

To celebrate I am going to enter my first Blog This challenge

For the uninitiated Blog This is an Australian blogging network and they have regular blogging challenges - very supportive and fun place to visit....

the challenge is:

to reveal a secret talent or something people might not know about you...

Mine is (ahem... was) .... my ability to find unique ways to meet men.... and that it became a Cover Story in Radar in Sydney Morning Herald (cover pictured )

I'll explain...

When I was single and lived in Sydney I worked in the world of advertising but always wanted to be a journalist.

I was never sure how to break through the advertising world through to journalism.

The two seemed to be at odds with each other.

The opportunity beckoned at a most unsuspecting moment.

One of my besties asked me to accompany him on his search for shared accommodation.

I helped him scour the houses of inner Sydney abodes to suss out the vibe and the flatmate potential within.

After we left an apartment, and analysed the potential flattie we had just met in detail (from the aromas in the kitchen to the books on his coffee table) - a light bulb appeared before me, just like in the cartoons.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

My friend looked at me as though I was mad - "What are you doing?"

"I've got it!" I said

"Got what?"

" I have the perfect idea to meet a man in Sydney!"

" I am going to answer the share accommodation ads! How better to to do it? "

"I will be able to cut to the chase, see how the man REALLY lives - what his tastes are like, how he keeps the house - if you answer the ads you save yourself the steps of meeting him at a bar and thinking he is wonderful only to go home and find he has a bedroom covered in teddy bears or the like..."

This was one of those moments where I felt completely sure of my idea.

Convinced, I approached one of the Editors at the Sydney Morning Herald and told him my idea.

He loved it!

He also organised for someone to come along with me and film it (embarrassing times a thousand, but fun )

So then... I just had to go out and actually do it!

It was great fun -- felt a bit naughty though.

Certainly got some controverisal comments on the SMH website

To me this is my greatest 'career' achievement to date - and oh so much fun - if you have a read you will feel the spookiness of it all as at the I make mention of an 'elusive Cowboy'

Those who know my blog (or who don't can get the jist in the above: about me bit) will know I am now very happily in love with a Cowboy - who thankfully I met through more honourable means.

You can read the story here (just checked and link to the video doesn't work - leads to something else, oh well - kind've good in a way - was pretty embarrassing!! )

My next unique effort of meeting men was to give Sydney the flick and move out to the sticks... and there, without even having to scour the newspaper of the one-horse town for potential flatmates I met him.

In the good old fashioned way.

At the pub.

Radar pic taken from here

Award Time

Fantasia times.

I love the support of people you get in the bloggy world.

Lovely Kathy from Lessons from the Monk I married and Writers Rising has awarded me not one but two blog awards.

I have seen on some people's blogs things like:

"I do not accept awards- please don't give me one" - why in the hell not?

It is hard in life at times to feel validated in what we do - little praises like this are the kind've thing that mean the world to me. Cheers Kathy!

I have recently awarded some folks who I love awards... so I am going to share the love and not double up.

I am going to make up my own category about what these awards are for...

I am going to give these two awards to 3 blogs and these are for blogs that inspire me to be a better person.....

Kathy, I could easily give this award back to you ...

Three very deserving inspiring bloggers and blogs:

1) Consumption Rebel - to the lovely Eilleen who although recently lost her bojo - continues to inspire through her integrity in living a life true to her self - and bringing awareness to others without being a preachy type.

2) Ranting and Rolling - to the lovely Laura in England (but is Canadian) who inspires me greatly through her dedication to her daughter Ella! She is very imaginative when it comes to raising her daughter who is only a little older than Monte - and because she is childcare and Montessori qualified I find her ways to be very inspiring - whether she knows it or not, I hope she now does!

3) The wonderfully supportive Heather from Heather Conroy's Verbal Report - I met Heather on She Writes and her blog always contains something thought provoking, I ALWAYS learn something new when I visit Heather's blog and she has become a wonderfully supportive friend also!

Thanks Kathy for the award, thanks to the gals above for inspiring me - and thanks to my parents, my son... my..

ok you get the idea

Mommy Nani Booboo Guest Post!

I am pleased to introduce you to Mommy Nani Booboo (not her real name... seriously) a blogger whose work I have admired since entering the scene...

Not only do I like her because she is a fine writer with an excellent sense of humour - but she is a genuine gal!

I had a little 'bitch' the other day about some of the big guns of blogging who are too cool to answer me... but Mommy Jenn (yes note - I call them Mommy because she is from LA and Mums are Moms over there...) has answered my every request including "How do I change fonts?" or something equally as ridiculous!

Instant respect!

She even forgave me when I made her post - post of the week and then cut and paste it on here instead of linking it to hers (and then left it on here because I couldn't figure out how to delete it) hahaha - I live and learn...

It is my honour to present to you the guest post that I assigned : How is parenting like acting

Do me a favour and drop by her blog and if you love it as much as I do & become her disciple.

Without further ado.....

Here it is....

The Show Must Go On

Sharni asked me to write a guest post on her blog.

I blushed and said okay.

She said I could pick a subject, or she could give me one.

I figured with the way my life has been going lately, I would probably write about poop or vomit… so I wisely suggested she give me a topic.

Do you know what the crazy Aussie gave me? “How is acting like parenting?”

My first response was- uh… it’s not.

As I started thinking about this post, my brain was bombarded by examples of how my present life and past life are on opposite ends of the spectrum, really.

So, I decided to roll with that.

My present job is being a full time mommy.

My previous job was as an actor, both on screen and on stage.

Soooooo not similar!

Allow me to elaborate:

There is no hair and makeup team!

When I wake up in the morning, I do not enjoy a cup of coffee as a talkative gay man puts my hair in rollers, while regaling me with tales of his love life.

If I get a little “shiny” from working too hard, there is no lady with a big powder poof to blot my T-zone.

There is no one to hide my blemishes, enhance my lashes, conceal the bags under my eyes, and dust on a naturally rosy/sun kissed glow.

I don’t even wear makeup nowadays.

My hair lives bunched up in a clip at the back of my head, and I don’t shower unless I have to. Sometimes, I can’t even remember if I’ve brushed my teeth- my toddler doesn’t care, and my dogs actually prefer things that stink.

There is no Craft Service

“Craft Service “ is a term that loosely translates to: oasis of food, and people who are present simply to serve you food, warm your food, or keep it chilled, and make sure you never, ever go hungry.

There are meals at mealtime, snacks all day- ALL DAY, coffee, tea, and pretty much whatever you please.

I am actually getting a little weepy writing this, because I am a mother who loves food, but was cursed with a great aversion to cooking.

Oh, I do it- because I’m responsible for keeping my family healthy. Yup… that’s pretty much the only reason I do it.

There are no stand-ins

This doesn’t so much exist in the Theatre, but when doing TV or film, you get what is called a stand-in.

Focusing of lights and camera angles, etc, can take a long time, and instead of standing there for hours while they focus lights on you- they bring in your stand-in.

This lovely person is generally your height/weight, skin coloring, and hair coloring.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, with a toddler who’s missed his nap, and really wants to dump the potted plant out onto the floor, or eat some lady’s purse sitting next to us, because we’ve been waiting for over an hour … I can’t tell you, how many times… in those moments… in the back of my head… I’m screaming for my stand-in. The stand in that never comes! Never freakin’ comes.

She doesn’t exist

There is no stand-in for mommy.

There is no script.

I don’t know how everything is going to play out. I am not guaranteed a happy ending.

No one has given me the right things to say.

I was always very good at learning my lines… where are my lines?

On the other hand…

There is no script.

I don’t know how everything is going to play out.

It’s all a big surprise!

I can make up and say whatever I want.

I walk around the house talking to inanimate objects all the time (like you don’t).

And I’m MOM, so what I say goes.

Even if I just pulled it out of my ass!

Who cares?

It’s called improvisation- it’s an art form.

You most definitely will “grow a sandbox in your tummy if you eat any more sand!”

I’m not memorizing it, I’m living it.

Now that I’ve had a chance to vent a little, there’s some breathing room in my head to see the brilliance of Sharni’s question.

Maybe acting and motherhood are not alike in the superficial ways.

But there are some fundamental things about acting, not the glitz and glamour, the real things, the things I love about it, the things that make it noble- these are the things that have followed me into parenthood.

Applause

Every actor is addicted to the applause.

It means you’ve moved people into clapping for you.

You’ve made them laugh, cry, think, something- you’ve done something to make them respond in a way so primal, as to take two parts of their body and slap them together to make a joyous noise.

That’s cool.

Every parent is also addicted to this applause.

Hot Nerd (my husband) would stand on his head, wiggling his toes, while meowing like a cat, if it would make my son clap with glee.

I puff my cheeks and cross my eyes a million times a day because it makes him squeal with delight. I am his dancing monkey, and I don’t mind one bit.

I gotta tell ya- I never thought any sound would make me feel as good, as several hundred pairs of hands clapping for me as I take my bow, until I heard the sound of just one… one pair of itty bitty hands…

Perhaps the biggest and most real way that acting is like parenting for me, can be summed up in a phrase I’m sure you’ve heard before:

“The show must go on.”

I remember once, years ago, as I was walking down a dirty Chicago street, I somehow got a thin metal rod stuck in my big toe.

I KNOW! How does something like that happen?

Anyway, it looked like some sort of unraveled, wire coat hanger, and it attacked my foot by completely bypassing my sandal, and firmly lodging itself in my big toe.

It was seriously in there- sticking way out the other side and everything.

Now, I had a theatre performance of A Mid Summer Night’s Dream in about 2 ½ hours that I wasn’t about to miss.

I was a main character, with no understudy, and well, you just don’t leave your cast, and a theatre full of people, hangin the breeze.

It’s just not done.

It’s the same with TV and Film.

Time is money- literally thousands and thousands of dollars.

And for the most part, actors subscribe to an unspoken, sense of duty.

The show must always go on.

So, back to the story: I couldn’t walk, what with 6 inches of metal sticking out of the bottom of my toe and 12 inches out the top.

So, I parked my butt on the sidewalk, and slowly started wiggling that metal rod.

I then started tugging at it a bit, took a deep breath… and slowly pulled it all the way through, and out, of my toe.

I walked my bloody self home, had a friend take me to the ER, got some x-rays, told the doc I had a show to do, got a tetanus shot, and made it to the theatre 20 minutes before show time.

I gobbled some painkillers, changed my bandage between scenes, and had a great show. There was never a question of not being able to perform.

Actors will perform with broken bones, and broken hearts. It has to be done-it’s for the greater good.

Parents subscribe to this same philosophy: the show must go on.

In fact, the show never stops.

Doesn’t matter if you sprain your ankle, have a fever, or are just plain exhausted- you are the star of the show and it’s your job to entertain!

I have thoroughly surprised myself with my ability to carry on, no matter the circumstances. You could have a fever of 105, or be feeling crushed by stress, or tending to your own very broken heart- but when you’re needed, you put on a brave front, you smile to let your little one know everything’s okay, and you dance a little jig to elicit a squeal from him or her.

It’s only backstage, in the “wings”, or in your dressing room, that you allow yourself to feel crippled by life.

Because you’re the parent- you have no understudy, no stand-in. That’s the hard part… and also… the best part… because you’re the star… you’re… IRREPLACEABLE.

So, I tip my old, slightly withered hat to you, my fellow parents. Because whether you took Drama class in school, starred in your high school play, been paid the big bucks on a movie set, or never took an acting class a day in your life- if you’re a mom or dad, you know the real meaning of “The show must go on.”

I applaud you.

Take a bow.

I am bowing as I type this - thanks for an enlightening and impressive list of similarities - knew you'd come up with the goods!

Love the bit about the applauding from one set of hands.

Love your work.

Seriously !

If you go down to the woods today...

You are in for a big surprise

If you go down to the woods today

You had better go in disguise

Mum's in a train-drivers hat with PJ top

(cos no-one will see her except on this blog)

and....

todays the day that

Mum gets your pram stuck in the griiiiiid.....

Thought we'd go for a lovely walk in nature... until the wheel got stuck.... arrrrr Monte wasn't too impressed.

Sarah Wilson : Inspiring Woman of the moment

I am stoked to bring you an interview with a refreshingly down to earth Sarah Wilson.

TV star, columnist, trend spotter, radio and online personality- this gal has the media covered!

Her next obvious step was to appear on my chronicles, right?

As regular readers know, I love to chat with inspiring women in all different capacities.

At the moment my focus is turning to women who inspire me in the Australian media.

For the uninitiated or the international - here is the lowdown :

Sarah Wilson is a media personality and journalist with a high-profile voice in television, radio, magazines, newspapers and online.

She's the former editor of Cosmopolitan magazine and was the host of MasterChef Australia, the highest rating show in Australian TV history.

She's now the host and developer for the country's newest channel Lifestyle YOU, and columnist with Sunday Life Magazine.

(taken with permission from her website)

Thanks so much for agreeing to the interview Sarah - lets dive straight into it...

If you were to throw in your city life and head back to the country (where you grew up), what do you think it would change about you?

It would certainly help with my never-ending efforts to ground myself.

Being in dirt and around rocks and the rawness of nature always slows me down and anchors me firmly.

Now I get my nature fix every other weekend or so. I head off to the bush and walk for a day.

Or I do a mountain biking trip.

It's a little routine I have and it involves not showering in the morning, just throwing on running gear and heading off, getting dusty and sitting on a rock and just, well, sitting.

Do you think growing up in the country helped to get you where you are today, both professionally and personally?

On a career front, yes I do.

When you don't grow up in the thick of things, you're outward focused. You become an observer. You devour books and information about people "over there" who are living life so differently to you.

This has helped with my ability to write about observational commentary, and probably contributed to my focus and ambition over the years.

It is why a lot of people in the media are from the country, or regional areas.

It has meant my life has been a constant battle between the material world and the simpler, real life of dirt, rocks and trees.

It has been a tough battle at times, but one that has defined me.

As former Editor of Cosmo, what do you think are the biggest issues facing Australian women today?

The bulk of big issues women face boil down to our not being able to sit comfortably with ourselves and our feminine nature.

We were raised to strive "out there", to do it all, to beat the boys.

We have silenced our intuition and have become used to being harsh on ourselves.

I am a shocking product of this.

Eating disorders, loneliness and binge drinking all stem from this disconnect.

You work in magazines, television, radio and online - what is your favourite medium, and why?

Funnily it is radio. Funny because I've done the least in this medium. I like it because it emulates a good conversation. For a woman it is heartening because it is not about aesthetics. It is about truly connecting.

What was the greatest part about hosting MasterChef Australia?

Well there was the food. And the judges, they were like brothers to me. Mostly I loved witnessing the big human emotions that went down.

It was fascinating and really raw at times.

Julie and I shared many big, teary moments. Eating and cooking food for others is such an emotional issue.

I see on your website you are a "Trend Consultant", while sounding like the most fascinating gig in the world, how does it work?

Yes, I've done work for thecoolhunter.net, it is not so much that I pick what's "cool"; I've translated the trends and discussed what they say about our society for companies such as Louis Vuitton and HSBC Bank.

This is far more interesting in my mind.

Who decides what is cool?

Everyone and no-one. It bubbles to the surface in crazy ways.

And finally, what advice would you offer to someone who does not have the celebrity behind them on building their online persona and brand from scratch?

I think media is all about good content now, regardless of your status.

You can no longer be a mere print journo filing a deadline each day. You have to build a brand that's built from having something to say, and then take your message across online, TV.. whatever...

The point is, you have to have something to say.

Many celebrities and media identities have very little to say.

Many non-media types have a lot to say. Because they have lived.

So I guess my message is - have something to say and just start sharing it. Use social media as it is meant to be used - connecting, sharing, posting comments on other people's logs.

Oh and don't rush things.

Be true.

The desperado blogger trying to accumulate followers with gimmicks is not appealing.

Thanks Sarah for your thoughtful answers, and being a guest on my blog.

Testimony yet again to the advantages of growing up out in the sticks!

I recommend Sarah's weekly column in the SMH's Sunday Life magazine about her quest for a better life.

Stay tuned (so not online speak is it??) stay logged on ...... I will be interviewing another legendary lady media personality Melissa Hoyer next.

Girl Gone Child and Pioneer Woman - Too cool for me?

I like to keep my posts positive where possible, but today I have a small gripe.

It is with those bloggers who are giving me the vibe that they are too important to talk to small time bloggers (with big-time ambition)

I am talking in particular about two blogs that I admire: Pioneer Woman (our stories are similar) and Girl Gone Child.

I have sung both their praises often, both here and to them personally.

- I have asked them both on numerous occassions for the honour of interviewing them.

They don't even warrant me a reply.

I can handle a No - but I don't like to be ignored!

It makes me sad that while I admire their work I don't admire the way they are not accessable - or polite to ardent followers. I feel tempted to take myself off their list. Hmmmph.

I know they have read the emails and comment because they have to approve them before printing them.

I have been nothing but doting and kind.

I don't care how busy they are.

Who isn't?

It is my opinion if one is to blog then one is choosing to be interactive with readers.

If not, then choose another medium!

Oh yes they love to receive comments, but to return the favour? Heaven forbid.

Or is it they are 'too bigtime' to be interviewed on a small blog from an Aussie unknown?

Or is it they cannot write back because they are too busy photographing themselves 400 times for their next post?

Haha - snarly day today - lookout!

I appreciate these women are probably very busy and popular but how long does it take to write : "No thanks I am busy" if they are not into the idea?

Braja from Lost and Found in India has blogs equal in popularity as these two ladies- I asked her for an interview and she wrote back immediately to thank me for asking but that she was soooo busy right now, but can I ask her again later on?

I respect that.

Writing is obviously the fortes of these two I speak of, so it should be second nature.

If you feel passionate about this maybe you could send them a message that they should be interviewed on my chronicles?

Put pressure on these big guns I say!

See if they really have qualities worth admiring?

What do you think?