Twas the week(s) before Baby

i wrote this poem leading up to having baby, oh the anticipation and the fear of how fat I had become - think this fear was larger than that of giving birth haha.... definitely had way too much time on my hands when pregnant - and it was around xmas the King was born 'Twas the week(s) before baby as big as a house Every body part is aching, including my mouth The stockings were packed in the pre-maternity compartment with care In hope that my bottom will one day fit back in there; The child is nestled all snug in my womb While visions of amniotic fluid surround him like doom; Mama in her Mu-mu, and Papa in his cowboy hat, are enjoying the last of their opporurtunities to nap, While rolling over in bed, I felt such a clatter, I tried to spring from bed when Dave said "What's the matter?" "My arms have gone numb and my pelvis is aching", "I hope to God we love this little baby we are baking" A fake contraction startled me into woe Wondering if a million miles to the hospital we should go When, what to my wondering mind should I think God I miss the days of escaping worries with a drink The days leading up to the arrival of baby is like waiting for Santa when you are young anxious and crazy I guess Santa must feel similar about his annual fate squeezing down a chimney after a year of stacking on weight But when its all over and the chimney part is done He arrives baring presents and from then on its fun As a mad dust storm is then settled by rain A baby will be born to erase all the pain With cheeks like roses, if he doesn't have jaundice and I will feel elated if I escape feeling nauseous The day will arrive it is much anticipated I am sure when we meet him we'll be glad how we waited And I will hear the baby exclaim as he draws his first breath "Hello to you Mama now hand me your breast" Can anyone relate to going INSANE with anticipation? What is the craziest thing you have done leading up to giving birth?