The Butterfly Effect

Sometimes we  get so caught up in self-righteousness and festering anger that we can lose the present moment.

This weekend, a side of me I don’t like very much reared its ugly head.

Thankfully I was bought back down to Earth by a butterfly.

Yep don’t adjust your goggles, I was literally pulled out of my dark hole by a good old fashioned, wing flapping, flower hopping butterfly!

Who’d have thunk it?

I don’t know if there was a major planetary collision, or if the fairies that took my sleep gave me a severe case of cranky pant-it-is from hell but the last few days I have been in a really bad way.

The Cowboy and I have not been seeing eye to eye, nor have our eye to eyes been seeing much sleep, probably the cause of our eyes not meeting.

We decided a fix of the outdoors might help matters.

We packed up Monte and went for a walk to watch the cricket at the park.

The walk was mostly in silence though inside I was boiling.

Halfway I decided I couldn’t keep it inside anymore and unleashed a can of crankypants.

I picked a fight.

Cowboy failed to respond to my advances.

I could feel my frustration rising rapidly.

My fuse  was about a millimetre long and it short circuited.

Irrationally, I did an about turn and decided I wanted to be on my own.

I started legging it in the opposite direction.

“Where are you going?” Cowboy said bemused, pram in hand

“Home!” I yelled dramatically.

He yelled back to stop being so stupid.

Easily convinced I sauntered back over and decided that I would go along with them, I just wouldn’t talk.

This plan succeeded for about ten seconds before I launched into it again.

The more I spoke the more I became  wrapped up in my self-righteousness and hard done-byness (both legit words).

I had temporarily forgotten that the apple of our eyes, Monte, was right there sitting up in his pram soaking in the parental atmosphere from hell.

Just as I was about to take a short breath and start my next rant, Monte let out a grunt and a point and I noticed he was looking at a butterfly.

Please pop over here to read the rest..... :-) 

Waking Beauty

Today I feel a pang of emptiness and the world seems grey. This is part and parcel of the Motherhood experience, right?
Awake all night even before the Rooster?
Viewing the world through foggy lenses and a muddled head is what a Mother expects to experience but dreads with all her might.
I am starting to wonder if I might feel a little better accepting this rather than fighting it.
Today my vision is clouded following a wakeful night with my son. He has taken to clinging to me like an orangutan in the night hours.
If I try to deliver him back to his cot he tightens his grip and burrows his monkey-head into my shoulder pleading with me not to leave him.
I cannot find the strength to leave him alone screaming in his cot, so  I lie awake as he drapes across my body and sleeps - scared to move a muscle.
It reminds me of the years before baby when I used to have a cat that draped luxuriously across my double bed while I scrunched in a corner.

Your comfort comes first, your Majesty

There is no doubt about it, being tired is hard.
When tired the world looks different. Patience is tested,  reactions exaggerated, the drama of small things magnified.
"You need to get sleep in order to be a better mother"
Ideally, yes!
But this is like the mirage in the dessert. I think Motherhood is easier if we stop running so hard to reach the imaginary puddle of water...

rest of the story here 

10 Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

1) Words are Overrated
I have the most amazing interactions with my son. Sometimes "Car" is the only word exchanged
2) Babies Need Respect
Just because they are smaller and less advanced in the moving and speaking stakes they are human beings with needs, rights and personalities
3) Perspective
No matter how many times I might look in the mirror and am disappointed at what I see, there is a little boy tugging at my shirt while I put on my mascara who thinks I am the most magnificent being in the world (and if I don't mind can I pass him the mascara so he can put it in his mouth)
4) Love Conquers All
Even sleep deprivation (unfortunately) deprivation, oh I already said that ummm.. yep number 4 ummm you can function and punch out sentences that make sense even with sleep deprivation due to the love thing I mentioned
5) I'm Easily Manipulated
The cry or nagging of my son propels me into swift action - I am not sure that I will make a very good disciplinarian - he will more than likely discipline me
6) Women are Born Multi-taskers
Men are single-taskers - life will be happier if I just accept this
7) I Have An Adoring Audience on Tap
I can try out new dance moves, silly voices and songs whenever I feel like it
8) Poo Happens.
Particularly when in a rush
9) Keep it Movin'
To get over stuff quickly and to see things from another persons perspective first
10) The World is Amazing
Occassionally now I can look up at the sky with my son and gasp at the birds as if it were the first time I saw them
(Corny , I know, but true !   Unofficially number 11 is motherhood has taught me to be more of a softie than I ever thought possible)

REMEMBER I AM ONLY CUTTING AND PASTING FOR YOU PERSISTENT CHRONICLES FOLLOWERS... MOVE OVER HERE GEEZERS!!!


www.sharnanigans.com

Draw A Line In The Sand

"There comes a time in everybody's life when you must make a stand, and draw a line in the sand"

- Monte

THAT TIME IS NOW. Make the transition

www.sharnanigans.com 

You Don't Need To Follow Anybody!

A strange thing has happened over here at Chronicles Headquarters....

 my following is increasing though my posts are decreasing.

The point is, now I am not fussed about visitors here, they are popping up! 

Typical huh?

Can somebody tell me why so many are popping by from the SITS website?

I haven't popped my head on there for months and months and I had an influx of people welcoming me and becoming my followers.

What I need to say to them is this:

You don't NEED to follow me, you don't NEED to follow anybody!

If you want to follow the HOLY GOURD.... follow it over here....!!!!

www.sharnanigans.com

see another pathetic post, will probably have another 5 followers in the morning haha!

Oh and last chance to enter competition to win cookbook - announced tomorrow - GREAT CHANCE TO WIN not many entries! 2 to giveaway. See you over there good people

Why Worry?

"Why Worry?

There should be laughter after pain,

There should be sunshine after rain

These things have always been the same

So why worry now?"

Dire Straits

Relax! Most of the stuff we worry about doesn't even happen!

I used to be the ultimate worry wart.

I had a panic attack for every occasion. From financial woes to 'does my bum look big in this?' type dilemmas.

I was plagued with the 'what-ifs' and the 'what do they think of me's', I would have mini cardiac arrests about a mess in the house, an upcoming bill or the fact my hair colour was not quite the shade I was aiming for.

I barely got through a day without having to close my eyes  count slowly to ten picturing calm waters and smiling Buddhas!

It was so difficult to enjoy life because rather than being in the moment, my head was compiling predictions of doom!

My alter ego "Nostri-doom-us" hung around more than I care to admit.

These days I am the opposite.

Perhaps it was one too many panic attacks or the realisation that as a Mama my son is going to take his cues on how to react to life from his parents.

Some of the things I DON'T worry about now, would make my own parent's enter cardiac arrest territory.

They actually worry about my lack of worry at times! Crazy!

I have decided to trust in the flow of life and to put my energies into the things I can do, change and things that matter.

It is with pleasure that I have compiled Swami Sharni's Guide to Five things NOT to worry about (aside from anything)

to read the Swami Lessons... please make the transition to my website.... the Chronicles is dying..... please please follow here...

Good God !

I looked at the floor

Good God it needs mopping!

I looked at my hair

Good God it needs chopping!

I looked at my wardrobe

Good God it needs shopping

I looked at this poem

Good God it needs stopping!

Traffic Police

Just directing you over to some competitions I have running on the webby! 

 Cookbooks and CDs up for grabs for your creative selves PLUS new stories about  flat mates from HELL, MOO-nte-isms (my little Calf boy) and ..... new stuff from my contributing authors!

Please say Hi when you come over... and please enter the comps - I WANT to give you things! 
Click here and you will be on your road to glory.... 

Real World : Stop Hassling Me

Tumultuous.

The last week has been tumultuous.

Cowboy broke his wrist as many of you know, in the first 15 minutes of his first game of Rugby - he has been training for since September and is in the best fitness he has ever been in and just like that.

Over.

He has been in a lot of agony, mostly at night - sleep has not visited our abode much in the last week or two and wouldn't you know it Monte has entered a clingy stage.

 He wakes in the night and I can't get him back in the cot for love, nor money, nor toy cars.

So with him clung around my neck like a monkey and Cowboy in agony with a wrist he cannot get comfortable - I have started to resemble Darth Vader.

Routine is thrown out the window and I am out of whack.

Like a crazy lady my mind ticks over with blog posts and giveaways for my website while reality bites me and I wonder if being housebound in the OHT and discovering the internet have I in fact become a little insane and obsessive....

Don't answer that, or I will moderate you to the garbage bin :-)

I wish I could solve the broken wrist but I cannot.

I know Cowboy is frustrated with it and I don't know what to do.

My Dad laughed because the first thing I said when he broke it was "Great, now he won't be able to change nappies" and I was joking.

But now, not so sure haha...

Poor Cowboy...

I knew I didn't like that game of football for a reason.....

I had an emotional breakdown today... like a week ago I was managing it all, so it felt and now EVERYTHING is out of control

Keeping perspective here. It is not possible to juggle it all perfectly - and perhaps these things happened to remind me what is most important - my family.

I am waiting for my A-HA moment where I figure out what my role is here and how to keep it going on.

I know its coming, I know sometimes we hit little walls where we sometimes stagnate until we learn what needs to be learnt.

Think I was so off with the fairies excited about my website that I was neglecting my two men and now it is apparent they both need me.

pic from here

Meanwhile I haven't exercised nor eaten properly and feel ewwwww...

Oh I don't like doing ranty posts, but people, I needed to - hopefully I can get on with it now and be the person Cowboy and Monte need me to be.

I wish the real world would just stop hassling me.

Ooohh Baby Baby it's a small world

The World Wide Web is a piece of work isn't it?

For writing and instant gratification it is the best medium since John Edwards.

Since launching my website last week I have had a little gander at the analyitcs of it all and am astounded where readers have stopped by from!

I was tickled pink to discover readers have stopped by from Israel (Hey Ramona) , Tonga (Hey Leanne) , Denmark (Hey Karston) , Japan, Switzerland, UK, USA, Canada, New Zealand, Turkey, Belgium and did I mention Griffith (town just nearby my own One Horse Town) ?
I'd really like to get some interaction happening here, perhaps I can put together the United Nations of Sharnanigans... hahaha

Here is a little poem in your honour:

Salutations to those in Washington and Aloha to you in Hawaii
High five to you in Minnesota and greetings to you in Malawi
Hey there UK peeps reading this from Birmingham
Whassup in Leeds and Gloucester anyone reading this from Buckingham?
Whats cookin' in Brooklyn?
What are you gobbling in Turkey?

OK this is just silly. I went off my own poem midway through it, but I reserve the right to do that.

You know what? I like to write my silly bits and put them on the Chronicles,
Is that OK? This is like my playground for ideas... methinks..
For non-silliness - I have a new competition going on over at my website - its a caption one so enter if you feel creative 

* silly unrelated pic not mine but from here 

Shift

Hello dear friends. The Chronicles has been taking its final puffs lately, but it is because I have upgraded to my own site..... If you are a follower here I would be really really tickled if you were to continue that follow, the way to do it on my new site is to subscribe... I am running a competition at the moment too, so you could win a book for your efforts.

Also I am not sure what to do with the Chronicles  might shift it all over somehow to website, but not really sure how that is done... not ready to pull the pin on it.... though I think it can 'see the light' if you know what I mean..

I'd be chuffed if you subscribed and followed me over yonder... :-)

http://www.sharnanigans.com/

I have just updated the site and have an interview with Aussie Interview Man Richard Fidler, some poetry about Mice in the laundry basket and Monte-isms. Same stuff, easier to read...

Hope to see you at my new address.

Please let me know if you have come over, I don't seem to receive as much communication from people at my new addy and I miss it!

Hope to see you over there soon

xx (ps - Cowboy broke his wrist playing football, have had gruelling time of it - poor love, we had to drive 3.5 hours away for surgery and then had to wait 2 days - bloody OHT)