About Me

My photo
I am a full-time mama with a passion for writing and talking to fascinating people. I live in a one horse town with a Cowboy and my son. Thank Lord for cyberspace! I lived a colourful life in Sydney for a number of years. Working in advertising and journalism for FPC and the Sydney Morning Herald. During my time in Sydney I competed in a Dragon Boat race, choreographed a dragshow, used the Share Accomodation advertisements as a way to meet men and was told by Noiseworks frontrunner Jon Stevens that I was a bitch! Then came the decision to move back to country for 3 months to help out my Father with newspaper business while he was having treatment. Convinced I was a city girl I was caught by surprise when I fell in love with a farmer (and no, he didn't want a wife... still doesn't it seems!) convinced him that we needed to see the world, popped off to Vietnam to teach english in Saigon - before realising that the "food" in Nam didn't agree with me... turned out to be Monte - my son who is now with the Cowboy and I back in country NSW! I am in a wonderful stage of my life where I am focusing on the things that really make me tick. Including writing these chronicles.
Showing posts with label one horse town. Show all posts
Showing posts with label one horse town. Show all posts

Monday, January 4, 2010

Guest Post: One way to the OHT

Today I have asked house guest, and brother of Cowboy's - to take the wheel as my Guest Blogger.
As his first visit to the OHT I asked him to write about his impressions of the town, the Prince, and the Cowboy.
It wasn't until he wrote this piece that I realised what a strange room our laundry is, nor just how mystical I appear to be! 




One Way to the OHT - An Odyssey - 
By the Cowboy's Bro 

It started early on Christmas Morning.
I jumped in my car to make my way from my home in the  Black Soiled Plains to the One Horse Town via The Thumping Ground. 


(towns renamed to protect the innocent) 


 Driving 870km through rain, fog and sunshine I arrived on shaky legs just in time to hang out with the Hill Clan of my family in the Thumping Ground.

I spent 3 days doing my best to tire out the niece, nephew and my Dad.

I won!

Through a fierce combination of battling redfin in Mannus Lake and unleashing the fury in battles in the backyard victory was mine.

It was now time for the journey onto the One Horse Town to find out if Sharnia was pulling my leg.

175km of flat nothingness greeted me for the run into the OHT.



I expected to find dust blowing down the main street with the odd tumbleweed rolling along sedately.




I expected to find Tobacco chewing loafers  porch sitting and eyeballing the new arrival.





Surprisingly this was not the case.


After safely negotiating the main street gridlock I made my way through the suburbs of the OHT to find the  location of the mystic Sharnia.

In a small, newly renovated house she resides with a Cowboy and a Prince.

Odd companions for a mystic.


        The Prince took instantly to his Uncle Paul, as did Sharnia especially 
at the prospect of a live in nanny... ahahahahahah




But, whatever floats your kayak....

The renovations have worked wonders...
but it is the laundry that captured my attention.

It has a tardis like ability to hold an endless supply of everything you happen to be looking for.

"Where is the cheese grater?" I asked the Mystic.

"Oh, its in the laundry" She answered as though the most obvious place in the world.

I later found the laundry housed other miscellaneous items including a notepad, sticky tape and dog food.

(* note from Sharnia - we have just had renovations so all the stuff that wasn't good enough for our newly deluxe kitchen - went to the laundry, I didn't think this was so strange...)

The Cowboy's sheep dogs roam free on the green lawn.




The Prince is fascinated by buttons on the DVD, stove and dishwasher.


On NYE the Prince was sent to his grandparents and we ventured into the bustling nightlife of the OHT.
We were lucky to get in for the crowd.

The local band was playing to an attentive audience of one.


Obviously anticipating a riot the club was serving drinks in plastic cups.


Fortunately said riot did not occur.

The Mystic Sharnia, nor her friend Paula were not impressed by the cardboard vintage white wine claiming

"This is not Peter Lehman Daaarling!"




After clubbing on until the wee hours we fought our way through the hoards to stroll back to the Nirvana that is the Mystic's residence.

The Hill clan from the Thumping Ground arrived the following afternoon to enjoy the Prince performing his new ability to walk.

Once autographs were signed the Prince demonstrated his inability to sleep and proceded to scream the house down.

As the Cowboy and the Mystic were taken up with Princely duties. I took over the BBQ.


The Cowboy proclaimed my effort was "OK" but 'he can do better'

An invalidated claim at this stage.

.Who knows what other wonders exist in the OHT?

The odyssey continues....

Paul left the OHT today enroute to a town with a couple more horses. 


It was a pleasure to have him in our mystical residence - he sure charmed the Prince and my neighbours!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

We interrupt the Jon Stevens story for...

 a pictorial of Christmas in the One Horse Town.
I am too stuffed to write anything, forgive me.
Hope everyone has had a chance to do some chillin' with their homies
I will continue the epic series of Jon Stevens soon... oh and those bored with that already, promise its nearly over and then there will be lots of Sharnanigans...







Sunday, November 22, 2009

Fashion Victims




I did it.
I entered.
Sober.
For new readers I entered the Fashions on the Field at the One Horse Town Races.
Humiliating?
Entirely!
Awkward?
Uh-huh
Did I do a demeaning twirl on the stage?
Yes.
I'll have you know I did it for one reason and one reason only.
I did it for the Chronicles of Sharnia.
Because I said I would.
So thank-you for inspiring me to do cracked things I wouldn't otherwise!!
Getting me out of my comfort zone and able to try new things and laugh.
I didn't even make the first round hahaha.

Next, Cowboy entered the Men's division. Again, clearly the 'suavest' competitor - but no, not a look in from the judges.
Eternally optimistic we then entered as a best couple and damn it we were!
Unfortunately... again, only according to us.
Sure we walked off laughing, shafted - for the THIRD TIME (!!!) beaten by the cloned non-fashionistas next to us.
We put it down to the fact the one horse town judges needed to visit towns with more horses occasionally - because we had it goin' on....

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Fashionistas: Do you read me?


I am going to do something that I never would have done in my previous life due to: a) thinking it was pretentious, b) being too drunk and c) thinking it was too pretentious
d) I still do (think it has elements of pretense) - but my reasons are not.

Drum roll please................




I am going to compete in Fashions on the Field in the One Horse Town Races * on the 21st November.


SHIT

I have written it on my blog.

Does that mean I really have to now????????


As part of my blogging and life adventure - I have a series of goals I want to achieve.

My strategy is to recruit the expertise of those who already have what I want and basically pick their brains for the good of myself .....

and humanity.

It has been fantastic so far- I have met authors, fitness buffs people who live 'simply' and parent consciously - but I have a question for you all.

Where are all the fashionistas

and why do they ignore me?

I targeted a heap of Fashionista Blogs looking for the fashionista who was up for my challenge.

Apparently she fails to exist!

Or is she too cool for me and my One-Horse Race Town?

This is what I had asked:

To enrol the help of a fashionista who is up on current trends
( I have been on pause since 2007)
to suggest outfit to flatter my figure, compliment my personality and.... well..... get me to WIN Fashions on the Field at our local race day!!!!
(oh and to help me achieve this on a budget)

was it too much to ask?

Let me explain why suddenly I want to do something that I previously deemed 'not for me.'

I have been daydreaming about having the Races as my "Coming Out Party"

not to announce that I bat for the other team

but to say: "I am Mother watch me strut around on heels I haven't worn in two years !"

Yes, it has been two whole years of living like a hermit.

In my prior life I was the anti-Christ of Hermits.

I have done very well as a Mama - and I want to celebrate in style - and I want to look the goods.


Other reasons for this:

1. When I was pregnant my once dainty feet that graced many a stiletto were possessed by the Elephant Man.
My feet are dainty again but the only shoes I have are Cowboy's Hang 10 thongs.

2. I used to have an outfit for every mood of my day and I went through a strange purge after having baby and threw out most of my clothes.
Hormonal? Probably.
Now I don't have any and would love a fantastic ensemble.

3. I have worked my butt off with a personal trainer against every fibre of my being. I am fitter than I have ever been even and I deserve a new outfit damn it.



So OK - there is no-one to guide me - the fashionistas have better things to do than email me -

i think it is actually a blessing

I can do this on my own.

Don't need you fashionistas - who needs latest trends anyway - I am going to wear something that expresses me - and who better to choose it than me???

(epiphany)

The races are on the 21st of November.

VERY SOON.

This weekend we are going away shopping.

I will let you know what I come up with...... kill me now if it is anything like the pictured hat

I will blog about the whole adventure and you can laugh at me as I get beaten on the day by a 50 year old damsel.









* I should point out there will be more than one horse at our race day. Otherwise I'd put $1 million dollars each way on it.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Need your help to start horsin' around town

Since I am always banging on about how I don't get up to much (outside cyberspace) in my one horse town..... I was thinking...

Perhaps you could make some suggestions to me about some wacky things I could get up to and then write about?

I acknowledge it is one thing to complain that where I live is "boring" but another to not at least try and liven things up for myself.


I thought you might be able to help.

I get inspired by a challenge.

And I have no-one besides Cowboy to brainstorm these things with so really need your input.

I am looking for things I could do or things I could show you about where I live.

I will then write about the outcomes complete with pictorials to prove them...

I don't mind, make them wacky, daring - silly, fun - encourage me to get out and let loose.... (do remember I have a baby)

Maybe there is something you want to know about my one-horse town, or maybe there is something quirky you'd like me to do - any challenge you can throw at me i will consider.

Now it is your turn to take the reigns

Go on


Giddy up!


* Truth be known Hay is small but there are at least 58 horses here