About Me

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I am a full-time mama with a passion for writing and talking to fascinating people. I live in a one horse town with a Cowboy and my son. Thank Lord for cyberspace! I lived a colourful life in Sydney for a number of years. Working in advertising and journalism for FPC and the Sydney Morning Herald. During my time in Sydney I competed in a Dragon Boat race, choreographed a dragshow, used the Share Accomodation advertisements as a way to meet men and was told by Noiseworks frontrunner Jon Stevens that I was a bitch! Then came the decision to move back to country for 3 months to help out my Father with newspaper business while he was having treatment. Convinced I was a city girl I was caught by surprise when I fell in love with a farmer (and no, he didn't want a wife... still doesn't it seems!) convinced him that we needed to see the world, popped off to Vietnam to teach english in Saigon - before realising that the "food" in Nam didn't agree with me... turned out to be Monte - my son who is now with the Cowboy and I back in country NSW! I am in a wonderful stage of my life where I am focusing on the things that really make me tick. Including writing these chronicles.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Don't suppose you know how to pose?

You mightn't think it to look at my banner (haha) but I hate having my photo taken.

I know - it is not many that do - well maybe those who are blessed with perfectos genes don't mind it.

I wouldn't either, if that were the case.

You see we are working on my upcoming website... Sharnanigans (exciting!!!) .... and Olena, my designer, needs a pic!

Well roll me over and call me Rhonda - it has been a saga!

I sent her some from recent times but none of them made the cut.

I want my website to look professional - to show me in a natural light.

ie - not with a forced smile, silly pout or sideways glances.

I have to be still, not halfway through a dramatic statement or making any grand gesticulations.

This is hard for me because I do a lot of this, particularly when I become nervous when I know someone is trying to take a photo.

I think the best photos are taken when I am drunk

(which sadly, I haven't been for a long time)

because you lose the braincells responsible for overthinking your poses and you get something more natural, albeit with slightly bloodshot eyes.

So last night I asked Cowboy if he would do a photoshoot for me.

I whipped on a couple of different outfits and stood in front of a white wall awaiting direction.
It didnt come.

Cowboy said - "Well smile"

"I can't just smile on cue" I snapped

He held the camera up at me and I had nothing.

"You have to direct me" I directed

"I don't know how to direct you" he said "I'm not a photographer!"

"Well I'm not a photographer either, but I would know how to direct you" I said

("I bet you would" he probably thought)

" You have to make me laugh, smile - try different poses"

" I'm trying" he said

"No you are not!" I barked

"Well sorry I have been painting our house all day"


I don't really think we were going to elicit a natural, 'me in my happy glory photo' in these circumstances now were we?

So we decide to hit the bottle.

We get out a bottle of Sav Blanc and I suggest we just sit and have a few drinks and if he sees me laughing or coming to life then for the love of God , snap me!

Oh the pressure I put on Cowboy.

Of course -we sit down to do this and things start rolling, we are talking and then laughter prevails!!

Cowboy happily reaches for his glass to pour another drink.

"What are you doing pouring a drink?" I exclaimed

" I was laughing!! You missed it!"

Biting his tounge Cowboy rolled his eyes and guzzled a badly needed gulp.

He decided then to sit there with the camera pointed on me waiting for the laughter.

"Well I'm not going to start laughing now" I snarled

Ok, you get the idea - the poor Cowboy wasn't going to win.

He got a few snaps - but then I had issues with them including orange tinge in hair (hence the sepia coloured photos)

The stress of it all and the silliness of it all did lead to a funny night (of sorts)

The results? Pictured - still have not made the cut. arrrrrrgh...

Olena has sent me some examples of different poses that work well so I am going to limber up and try and call on my inner model....

We are going to have another crack it tonight (Cowboy doesn't know this yet...)

I have stocked up the fridge in anticipation.

Oh and laugh it up.

That one of me straddled over the red chair is SO not my style plus I have never worn a white collared shirt in my life!!!!

So does anyone have any suggestions for me, oh afraid of the camera?
How the hell am I going to get the shot?
How should I pose?
How should Cowboy direct it?
Or should I just not worry about a photo???
Or should we just run with these gesticulating non smiling funny looking ones? Probably a truer indication of what I'm like!!!

(So many ors I could just row away!)


  1. Tough one Sharni coz I am so self-conscious myself. But just tell the Cowboy to just take the snaps. 500 snaps should be sufficient yeah? I'm sure 1 out of that 500 would be awesomely awesome!

    Best of luck and ooh werq it gurl!

  2. You know what, candid shots are often the best ones. Just be silly, stupid, crazy for several shots. Make faces. Let out all your apprehension of silly poses. Then just him snap some candid shots throughout the night and you'll get something you like.

  3. Ha ha, you are goofy!

    Seriously just get the cowboy to follow you around for a few hours.

    Candids are best. Even when you don't think you're pretty, you look beautiful.

  4. I am the poser from hell, but the more I see of you, the more I think we would have a wicked time out together!

    If u and the cowboy are travelling through QLD please visit, would love to pick your brain!

  5. Would love to Alex - don't worry after a while (of drinks) my inner poser can be unleashed. I defo think we would have fun!


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