I nailed it!

Never had them

Never wnted them

Now I have big french oooh la la ones

I can't type

I can't slip my shoes on

I can't press the seat belt button to

get Monte out of the car

I can't pick my nose on the sly

I can't get a little thing out of my eye

I can make impressive tap tap sounds when I am waiting

I can gesticulate

over the top

and put my hands in subtle

slightly glamorous poses

on my face when I am talking to someone

and trying to act interested in what they are saying

but secretly wondering

are they admiring my nails?