It has been a couple of weeks since I made mention of the fact the Princess... disappeared.
She has not returned.
I know that cats sometimes do this and then frolic back in as though they were never gone, but in my heart of hearts I think she is not coming back.
On top of the sadness I feel, I carry an enormous amount of guilt .
A voice (an unwelcome voice) in my head keeps saying that she left because all my time was taken up with Monte.
Honestly, the amount of attention and affection I used to lavish on that cat pre-Monte was just like she was a baby.
How must she have felt suddenly 2 years into her life (on the exact day of her birthday mind you ) when Monte was born and suddenly I didn't have much time for her.
I would give her a fleeting pat - but she would look at me, her eyes piercing straight through my soul whenever I was holding Monte.
I would plead with Cowboy or someone else to please pat her, love her - while I couldn't.
I hope this is not why she decided to go.
On the other hand, maybe it is better if it is.
She could be happy as larry having a holiday with someone who is able to give her the attention I currently could not.
Or is this just wishful thinking?
It is easier to deal with than thinking she has been run over, bitten by a snake, caught in a trap, poisoned...
I have been not allowing myself to go into too much thought about her, blocking my thoughts off with "She will come back" -
maybe it is time for me to start thinking otherwise.
I wrote a story when I first got her that ran in the local newspaper "My cat is a guru" - I always thought there was something spiritual, sixth sense about her.
When I went through my meditation phase - she would always appear when the OMMMMS started and she would just hang around as if attracted to the peaceful energy.
I had a very special connection with her.
I believe she came into my life for a reason
- I just hope she still has that reason and will waltz on back.
I'd be the happiest gal in this one horse town....
Oh and yes, she liked to wear dresses
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Ok, you've made me all teary at my desk. Sorry to hear she's gone walkabout. She looks like a gorgeous little kitty. I think the worst part about having pets is coming to terms with the fact that sometimes you lose them. I hope she comes back to you.
ReplyDeleteI know it well how badly it hurts to lose a pet. I had lot a rabbit when I was 5 years old. I can still remember crying for days and not eating well.
ReplyDeleteShe is looking gorgeous in that picture. I like cats who love dressing up.
Let's hope for the beast dear. I hope she comes back to you soon.
Cheers!!
I'm so sorry to hear that she hasn't come back yet. She may just be out exploring, looking to see if there are more than one horse in that town...
ReplyDeleteHugs Sharni.